The Alpha - Arianna Green (FULL 50 Chapter)

I sat and sat. Thought and thought. Why didn't he want me? 

'He already fucking told you.' 

'You dumb moron.' 

'Damaged. Weak.' 

('Don't listen to them.') 

...They're right... 

'I know we are, STICKBUG.' 

As much as they bickered, and as many headaches I got, I didn't understand it. He marked me, then had sex with some other girl. He said he didn't want to mark me, I remember that. Maybe he felt pressured? Or maybe it was his wolf? Did his wolf even want me? 

('Yes!') 

I sighed, laying on the bed. I didn't eat breakfast again, and I wanted to do something, talk to someone. I never want to talk, but now I did. I didn't want to talk to Derek, I had no clue what Mallory was doing lately, and other than them, I didn't know anyone. 

That therapist? What was his name? Rocco? Sercuro? 

('Socorro') 

...Oh... 

I dragged myself off the bed and got dressed in a more presentable outfit, before walking down to Derek's office. I don't think he'd be on board with me just leaving, or maybe he would. 

What if he doesn't want to be bothered? What if he dislikes me even more? I stopped walking, pausing in the hallway. Subconsciously, my hands started to wring my wrist out of worry. 

"What are you doing?" a voice snapped me out of my head. 

I looked up to find the source and felt my hands get ripped from myself. Derek. He looked at my wrist and then glared at me. I flinched, looking back down at my hands, my face heating up. 

"I-I'm..." I'm not finishing that, he already told me to stop stuttering. 

"Next time I find you doing this," he brought up my wrist, "you won't like the consequences," he warned. 

I nodded at him, biting my trembling lip. 

What consequences? 

"Where do you think you're going?" his cold tone questioned, grabbing my face to look up at him. 

I opened my mouth a few times to tell him, but the words got caught in my throat. I didn't want him to yell at me. 

('Go slowly.') 

"Alpha..." I drew out, shakingly, he narrowed his eyes at me, "I...was wondering..." I swallowed, "if, I c-" I felt the words get stuck in my throat, "see...the...th-therapist?" I cringed when it ended. 

"I think you need to see a speech-language pathologist," he grunted, letting go of my face. "Can you get there by yourself?" he asked, I felt like he was irritated. 

At me? 

I didn't remember where the office was, but I didn't want to further displease him so I nodded. 

"Words. Violet," he growled, crossing his arms over his broad chest. My eyes lingered for a second before I snapped them down. 

"Y...yes..." 

He grunted then left me. I'm guessing that means I could leave? 

It took some time, but I finally got there. My wolf did most of the leading because I had no clue where I was going. 

I walked in and asked to see him, but I was told I had to make an appointment, as he wasn't available today. I made one for tomorrow at two and then proceeded to make my way back to Derek's house. 

But I didn't remember how. 

'You're so worthless... 

My wolf - Sage- yet again had to remind me of the way. It made me feel shameful, a twenty-one year old couldn't remember her way back. It was pathetic and I knew 

that. 

On my way back I saw that blonde from the kitchen. The one that had sex with Derek. Looking at her put a sour taste in my mouth. She was taller than me, had long legs, tan skin, long blonde hair, and bright blue eyes. 

She was pretty. I wasn't 

'No dip, dumbass.' 

'That's why Derek wants her and not you.' 

She looked over at me and scoffed, followed by a glare. I brought my eyes down and slowed my walk as she came up to me. The smart thing to do would be to walk faster, but Alpha Chris always hit harder when I ran. 

"What are you doing here, maid?" she taunted. I wasn't a maid! I didn't answer her, just looked down at my shoes. 

"Answer me!" Out of my peripheral vision, I saw her hand come up, and I automatically flinched. Her hand came across my cheek with such force that I fell on the ground. My hands skidded across the ground, undoubtedly leaving a mark. 

She gave me a sharp kick in the stomach, her heeled shoe slightly scrapping me. I shut my eyes, tears threatening to spill. The blonde grabbed my hair, leaning in. 

"And I don't know what you're doing in Derek's house without a uniform on, but it ends. He's mine- your slut-self can find someone to spread those scrawny legs for," she sneered at me, yanking my hair one more time causing me to fall back onto the ground, then walked away. 

No one was around. I pressed a hand to my lips as I got up, my tears already flowing. I stumbled my way back to the building and quietly entered, not wanting to disturb Derek or the cooks. 

The voices in my head led me to the other kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stuffed it in my jeans. They then forced my hands to grab another, just in case. I held it in the inside of my arm, up my sleeve, proceeding upstairs to my room. 

Tears were still wetting my cheeks and I walked down the hallway sniffling and bruising my lip, keeping my sobs caged in. 

"Violet," a cold voice made me halt in my steps. 

I turned around, tucking the blade closer to my arm, and kept my head down. I didn't want him to see my tear-streaked face or the welt from the girls slap. 

"Why are you back so early?" 

"I-um, h-he was busy, s-so I made an a-appointment..." 

"What did I tell you about the stuttering?" he growled stepping closer to me. I bit my lip harder to stop from breaking out right then. "And what did I tell you about looking at me?" 

...Chris... 

('No. It's Derek. It's okay.') 

'Chris.' 

He yanked my face up to his, jerking my body from the surprise. The knife in my arm jabbed my skin, a small wince appeared on my face and I quickly covered it not wanting him to become angry. 

But Derek wasn't dumb. He noticed and fuzzled his eyebrows, looking down at my arm. He yanked my arm from my side, and the knife fell out clanging on the ground. 

Silence wrapped around us as I held my breath. My heart was beating out of my chest and he crouched down, grabbing the knife. He once again grabbed my chin, a lethal look was thrown my way as he held the knife up. 

"Can you not go anywhere?" he snipped, "As of the marks on your face, it seems you can't," he growled before glancing back at the knife. "This...this would barely do any harm." he smirked at me, "I thought you were smarter than that, but a butter knife to harm yourself?" he chuckled. 

Suddenly he dropped his hand to my arm before tugging me his way, yanking me down the hallway. He stopped in front of a door, opening it up. I was immediately greeted with his scent and I realized it was his room. 

Was he going to rape me? Had I pushed his last button? 

I tried to free my arm but he growled, pulling me into the bathroom. He flicked on the light, closed the door, and pulled us in front of the mirror. 

I looked rough. My cheeks were puffy, along with my reddened eyes. I had a hand mark on my cheek. My lips were battered from me biting them all the time and my hair was as dead as ever. He looked godly. 

'You're so ugly.' 

'Hideous.' 

"Do you want to see yourself?" he sneered as his hand ripped off my shirt. I gasped and went to cover myself, but he grabbed my arm. In the reflection, I saw his eyes glance down to my black bra. 

('Relax Violet, he's our mate. He won't harm us.') 

...Chris always said I was his mate, didn't stop him... 

"Look at those scars, Violet." 

I whimpered as I started at the slivers of purple and white. My eyes also saw the yellow bruising caused by that blonde. 

"You hate them don't you?" he whispered in my ear, "you despise them." I let a sob leave my lips as my vision blurred. "So tell me," he wrapped his arms around my 

scrawny waist, "flower," he tightened his grip and I gasped at the pain in the side from the blonde, "why the fuck would you add?" 

"S-stop," a cry shook my body. My eyes widened and dropped to his hands as he stuck one in my pants. I tried to move away but he let out a warning growl, keeping me in place. His huge hand roamed my leg until he grabbed the handle of the knife. He smirked against my neck, pulling it out. 

A small part of me felt relieved. 

"Got it..." he murmured against my skin and I shivered in response. "I smell her on you," who? "Did you go pick a battle you knew you'd lose?" 

I shut my eyes at his scrutinizing tone. I couldn't do this. 

"You're jealous I didn't fuck you instead? Wondering why I don't tap your pussy?" I tried to pull away from him, but he didn't let go. My sobs were leaving my lips shamefully free. 

"But my dainty flower, look at yourself." his hand cupped my chin and forced it up to look at myself in the mirror, "you don't even have the backbone to tell me she did this to you, that you didn't do anything..." 

"P-please," I whispered. I wanted it to stop. I wanted him to apologize to me and hug me, I had no clue why. He's never done that before, why did I want it now? 

Blame it on my wolf. 

My legs felt weak. If he knew, why was he being so mean, what did I ever do to him? 

He turned my body so my chest was to his, tightened his grip around my waist, and picked me up. He walked out of his room and walked to another. 

He dropped me down on a bed and I realized I was back in my room. He got a new shirt, a grey, oversized sweater and tried to put it on me. He ripped off the rest of 

my old shirt and gently put the sweater over my head and my arms through the holes. I tried to stop my tears, but I couldn't stop sniffling. 

"Crybaby..." He didn't spare another glance at me before he turned and left, leaving me with my demons.