The Alpha - Arianna Green (FULL 50 Chapter)

 

Days passed and slowly I was being pulled into my comatose body, leaving the moon-colored layout of liminality. I was often going into hypnagogic hallucinations and that's when the Moon Goddess would talk to me. 

Recently I haven't had them, instead a blackness cocooned me and a numbness weighed down on my body. A bitter feeling was expanding in my chest, directed to Derek. Maybe because when the Moon Goddess spoke to me, she was justifying his actions in a sense. 

"Violet, today I had a conference with my Statal Alphas over the phone, it was interesting..." 

I heard his voice, talking to me. Sometimes he'd only say a few things. I heard him faintly do his work, I heard when he got up to take a shower, I heard when he talked to Garret. Not all the time, only when I filtered between the two dimensions. 

"Violet, I miss you. I miss the way you kiss, the way you smell, the way you played with my hair. I even missed the way you traced patterns on my hands." 

I heard, unable to react. The bitterness flourished, he didn't miss me. He was just guilty, if he cared as much as he said, he would've done things differently. He didn't 

miss me. 

Some more days passed and my hallucinations became shorter and hazy, the last thing Selene told me was that it was moving on to the fourth week. After that, I haven't seen her again. 

Within those days someone visited Derek. Someone I wasn't that fond of. 

"Derek, come on. Just leave, I don't know why you're hanging around her. Let's go have some fun." the feminine voice purred. 

"It's Alpha to you Lindsay," Derek growled back. "I'm not touching you, leave." 

She huffed. "Are you serious!? You're going to wait around for this skimpy tramp-" 

A growl cut her off. "Don't you disrespect your Luna like that!" 

"Please! That thing won't be the Luna, we all know it! She's skinny and ugly! Weak!" the girl, Lindsay, shrieked in anger. 

It was silent for a while. Then there were footsteps. Dangerous, hazardous footsteps. A low growl emitted from Derek. 

Then I slipped out. It was beyond frustrating, especially when I was stuck in my body. I couldn't see or move, only hear. 

Days passed and passed. 

Doctor Reseda came in, and she spoke to Derek, saying it was time to move me, to prevent the bed sores. 

"Yeah, I'll get her." I heard Derek's footsteps near the presumed bed. 

Hands touched my legs. I felt it, sparks tingled where he touched me. I heard the beeping of the heart monitor pick up. A small gasp was heard and his hands immediately stopped moving and rested where they were. 

"Alpha..." Doctor Reseda whispered. 

I felt Derek's hand move to my arm, sparks meeting. I was shocked at how my body responded, that I was actually able to feel something instead of the static numbing. 

"She's responding, that's good," Reseda informed him and I heard Derek hum in response. 

For the next few days, Derek would caress various parts, Reseda would record the results. He only touched my arms and neck, rarely my legs, besides moving me. 

"Alpha, I'll be back," Reseda said, followed by the sound of the door. I hated not being able to see everything. 

"Flower, come on. Open those eyes, honey..." Derek murmured. 

I so badly wanted to respond to him. His nose brushed my cheek and the heart monitor spiked. I heard him chuckle against my skin. 

"My Flower, I don't want to play this game," he whispered. "Open those beauties... I miss you, honey." 

The beeping resonated throughout the room, my blind vision not able to pinpoint where it was exactly. I felt Derek move his head down, skimming my cheek down to my neck, sparks following like a lost puppy. I felt him near my mark, my heart uncontrollably beating faster and faster. 

He chuckled against my skin. He pressed a small kiss to my neck. 

"Come on my Flower..." he sounded almost desperate. 

Then, he lightly kissed my mark. Light buffered the black screen I was wrapped in and a muffled groan left me lips. 

"There we go..." he pressed another kiss to my mark, lingering. The lightness started to battle the black. He kissed my mark again and a muffled groan 

"Violet..." he whispered. 

Just the way he said my name brought feeling back to my mouth. I parted my lips. He kissed the mark again. 

"You're so close Flower." 

Flower. I loved that so much, but I needed to stay strong and stick to my wits. 

left. 

A gasp left my lips. It was small, but he heard it. Lightness finally toppled the dark. He latched onto my mark, kissing and sucking. One of his hands grabbed my hand and gave it a light squeeze. 

I tried to open my eyes, but they burned with the harsh light. Derek pulled back from my mark. 

"Violet, open those beautiful russet eyes..." Derek whispered, his breath hitting my face. 

A soft groan left my lips as I attempted to lift them. He brought a hand up to cup my cheek while his other tangled in my hand. 

Finally, I cracked them, light shown through. I had to blink a few times before they fully opened. 

"Flower," Derek whispered. 

He was the first thing I saw, his beauty meeting my eyes. He pulled back slightly from me to give me space. I just stared at him. His blue eyes sparkling with joy and relief, a smile trying to be contained rested on his features. He had grown a little stubble on his jaw and his face looked thinner. 

"Violet, can you hear me?" He asked. 

I was lost in his features. My mouth parted to answer his question but my throat was so dry nothing came out. 

"Oh, Flower, I'll get you some water," his eyes grew wider and he rushed over somewhere and came back with a cup of water. He gently held it to my lips as I drank. 

He pulled it back when I was done, sitting somewhere on his tray table. He pressed a button by the bed, I assumed he called for a doctor. 

Before we could utter a word to each other, Doctor Reseda walked in. Her eyes were glassy and she rushed to my bed. She smiled at me and quickly took care of what she had to do. I kept quiet while she did her work, my eyes focused on my wrist. She was done quickly, spoke to Derek, adjusted the bed so I was at a comfortable sitting position, and left. 

I felt him staring at me, I kept my eyes glued to my wrists. Wrapped in bandages and IV's poked out from my hand. When was he going to speak? Was he going to apologize? I already told myself I won't accept it, I had to grow a backbone. 

Maybe it was Selene who brought me the confidence to be able to stick to this or maybe it was just my common sense kicking in. I felt lesser without my wolf, I wouldn't forgive him. She was gone because of him. 

'No, because of you-' 

...Shut up. You mean nothing... 

They were quiet after that. 

"Violet?" Derek whispered. I brought my gaze to him, keeping my eyes emotionless. "Honey, I'm so fucki- I'm sorry. I never thought I -you- I'm just... I'm sorry-" I cut him off before he could get farther. 

"No." 

He furrowed his dark eyebrows. "I know yo-" 

"No." I cut him off again. The heart monitor was going off like crazy. "No, Alpha, you're not s-sorry," I spoke, trying to keep my speech impediment in check. 

"Violet-" 

"No!" I yelped. He looked taken aback by my outburst. "You don't get to a-apologize to me! You k... you knew what you were doing and you didn't care! I'm done forgiving you and continuing on! You s-should be happy, you can go s-screw whoever you want!" I let out, feeling a little winded. 

I saw his eyes flash quickly, no doubt his Alpha side kicking in from the disrespect I dished. 

"Violet, please," he begged, "I don't want to 'screw whoever', I don't want them. I'm sorry what I did to you, I really am, please-" 

"No," it came out as a whisper, but he stopped talking. "I can't... Please, leave. I don't want to do this again. You can see whoever you want, I'm not holding you back, but I can't do this..." His eyes grew lighter and then darker, then lighter. His oceans forming a typhoon. 

The room grew quiet. Suffocating, I ended up holding my breath, scared of making a noise. 

"Is that what you want?" he started, taking a breath, "do you want me to leave?" 

I couldn't hold his stare, I looked down to my wrist. He sighed. I quickly looked back up at him before looking down again. 

He pressed his lips together and nodded, "okay Violet..." he nodded again, almost painfully. He walked to the door, leaving. 

The sound seemed to echo in the room. My chest felt heavier. 

No, this is the right thing to do. 

I thought he'd keep his word and not see me. I was wrong, partly. I didn't see him during the day, but when I woke up in the middle of the night from a bad dream, he 

was there. 

At first, I was startled and angry. But I grew to it. Despite my wolf's weakened state, the bond still craved him, even if it was faint. He would just comfort me back to sleep, whether I was a screaming crying mess or if I was angry at him. 

Derek would hold me until he knew I was calm enough to lay back down, then he'd sit down and hold my hand, rubbing it until I fell asleep. That was really the only time I saw him, I had no clue if he was getting sleep or not, or if he was being healthy. As much as I willed myself not to care about it because it'd be better for him, I 

couldn't. I still cared 

This night was slightly different. 

I woke up from Chris beating me, sweating and crying. Derek immediately grabbed me. 

"Shh, Flower, you're okay. Derek's here," he pulled me to his chest, whispering in my hair and soothingly rubbed my back. That brought so much comfort and security to Sage, the bond and myself, even if I was mad at him. 

My cries shook my body, trembling in his hold. The voices in my head may have been on hold, but Chris was evident in my mind, a black oil stain on a white shirt. Derek positioned himself on the bed and carefully pulled me in his lap, minding the IVs. 

"It's okay Violet, I got you. Nothing's going to touch you, I got you," he coaxed me calm. 

I had my head against his chest as he ran his finger through my hair. 

No. 

"Are you okay, Violet?" he asked, pulling back slightly. 

I nodded my head and went to come off his lap and lay back down but he stilled me. 

"Words," he reminded me, holding me. 

"Yes..." I whispered. 

Derek loosened his hold and let me crawl off of him and lie back down. He turned on the low lights. He got off the bed and sat down in the chair, reaching for my hand. 

No. 

I yanked it away before he could touch me. 

"Vio-" 

"No," I told him, "you s-shouldn't be here." 

I saw him clench his fist. "Why shouldn't I be here Violet?" he asked me, trying to stay level-headed. 

"I told you, you don't need me and s-should just leave me. It'd be best," I spoke, my voice wavering. 

Derek closed his eyes for a second, trying to control whatever he was internally battling. 

"Violet," it came out like a warning. My heartbeat spiked. 

"No!" my breathing was getting heavy. "No, Derek, you need to leave me! You don't need me and you don't want me!" I told him, my voice rising. 

He lightly growled, another warning. "Violet, that's not true. I do want you!" he voiced. 

"No you don't," my voice cracked, tears forming but I held them back, "you just feel bad because I tried to kill myself!" 

He got up out of his chair," don't you dare say that Violet," I couldn't help but flinch at the cussing, "you are my mate, dammit!" 

"Don't say it like it means s-something to you!" I yelled, he growled. "You don't care! It's just a word to you!" tears started leaking out of my eyes. "You didn't want me in the beginning, you don't want me now, you just feel bad! It's guilt!" 

He reached out and grabbed my jaw, bringing me closer to him, I gasped. 

"Don't say that! You are my mate, I'd do anything for you!" he growled out. 

I went to pull away from his hand but he held me. 

"No," I pulled again and he tightened. He growled and leaned down, attacking my lips with his own. 

A sound of protest left my lips and I jerked my head back but his other hand grabbed it and held it in place. He assaulted my lips with desire, passion, need, and anger. I pushed my hands against his chest, trying to pull away. 

Chris. 

I choked at the similarity. I pushed him again, pinching him. He roughly pulled back and stared at my blotchy, teary face. 

His eyes flashed in the dimly lit room. 

"You don't care!" I gritted out. 

He growled, "Violet! Yes. I. Do. You're my mate! You are mine!" 

"That doesn't mean a-anything! You just like the idea of it, you don't like me! You just feel guilty! That's not the s-same!" I rasped and finally yanked my face from his grip, rubbing my hurt chin. "You like the idea of a m-mate, but that's not me!" I glared at him as he studied my hands. Those last words hurt, I was his mate, that was me, but I wasn't what he envisioned. 

"Violet! Y-" 

"No! Stop!" I yelled and pressed the doctor's call button. His eyes followed and immediately darkened. He walked over and ripped it from my hand, immediately breaking it. 

"I already apologized for what I did, stop fighting me on this!" he yelled and my heart picked up, not in a good way. 

"Get away from me!" I yelped when he stalked to me and yanked my arm. He kissed me again and I kneed his stomach. He pulled back growling. My breathing became ragged, my throat closing up and my head pounding. 

"G-Get off!" I yelled at him, but he tightened his grip on my arm. He leaned down to kiss me again, but I brought my hand up and smacked him. 

His whole body stilled. 

My breathing didn't. My headache didn't. 

"Leave!" I yanked my arm out of his tight hold. 

His eyes seemed distant, lost. I had no air coming in and I was a panting mess on the bed, I went to grab the cord to call for assistance but he broke it. My tears flooded my eyesight and I grabbed my chest. 

Despite our fight, Derek knew what was happening and got me an inhaler, immediately assisting me. 

Once I was able to breathe, he simply pulled away and left the room. Seconds after he left, Reseda came running in.