The Alpha - Arianna Green (FULL 50 Chapter)

 

 

I did as Derek said and got some lunch, it was just some leftover soup from a few days ago but it was fine, and since he wasn't breathing down my neck I was able to eat as little as I wanted. 

Truthfully, I wanted to gain weight because I didn't like how I looked. It was just harder because Derek wants me to eat a lot but it was so just so hard to do that. 

Reseda said that was fine and it would take time. 

I ended up taking a nap since I had a lot of time to spare and really nothing else to do. I wanted to cook or bake but I didn't want to waste Derek's food on useless things. 

I dreamt of Derek choking me in the shower again and as much as I willed myself to wake up so I wouldn't have to endure the memories, I wasn't able to. His hands wrapped around my throat repeatedly, and once that was done I was thrown back to him making me stare at my ugly body in the mirror. 

When I woke up I was sweaty and panicked. I took a shower to calm myself, it was close to that time so I got dressed in something nicer. I wore dark jeans and a button-down long-sleeved shirt. It was covering and dark so I felt comfortable in it. I also applied the makeup I had, I hoped it looked adequate because I had no mirror and I haven't touched it since before my coma. Didn't makeup have an expiration date? 

I finished up and walked downstairs, towards the end I noticed Derek on a couch watching something. I awkwardly stood at the end of the stairs debating on where to go. Garret and Hannah weren't here yet. 

"Violet, come sit, they'll be here very shortly," Derek spoke from his position, glancing over at me. Obediently, I walked over and rigidly sat on the chair. 

An uncomfortable silence filled around us but soon was disrupted by the sound of a doorbell. I flinched and Derek glanced at me before he got up, giving me his hand to help. I stared at it for a second, hesitating. 

Those hands choked me. 

"I won't hurt you," I lifted my hand to his. I saw a small smile form on his lips and he gently pulled me up. 

He didn't let go once I was up, instead, he pulled me with him to the door to open it. He 

did release my hand once the door was open, presenting Garret and Hannah. 

They smiled and Derek invited them in. 

"Hey Derek," Garret said, giving him his hand and they did some hug-hand-shake thing. Chris has done the same move before. 

"Garret, Hannah," he waved to Hannah and she smiled back. 

Garret lightly greeted me and Hannah beamed at me. 

"Vi!" 

"Hey," I said quietly. 

Derek led us to the dining table and as soon as we sat down, the chefs put down our dishes and drinks. I quietly thanked them and they nodded, leaving us. I sat by 

Derek on one side of the table and Garret and Hannah sat on the other. 

They were talking amongst themselves and I kept quiet, slowly eating because I felt like if I filled up too quickly that it would look bad and Derek would be mad at me. My dream hit me, him choking me in the shower, the way he yelled at me for what Mallory did. It was so vivid I couldn't help the shiver that ran through my body. 

I felt him glance at me but I kept my eye-line trained on the plate, willing myself to keep my fear and tears in check so I wouldn't embarrass him in front of his guests. 

They were discussing a family trip Garret and Hannah went on. 

"So, once we got there, we were minding our business and I was introduced to her family," Hannah smiled as Garret told the story, "and then there was a tap on my shoulder and I turned around and it was this little scrawny white boy!" Garret boosted laughter, "and he was so small, and you know I'm not," Derek laughed along with him, my wolf shuddered at the sound. 

I didn't know what was so funny about it, maybe my sense of humor was wrung out of me a long time ago, but what was so funny about 'scrawny little white boy'? Derek and I were both white, Hannah has pale skin, although her eyes were slanted so maybe it was offensive to call her white, I'm not sure. Garret was the only one 

who wasn't white, he had dark skin. 

Maybe it wasn't his race but his size? In that case- I'm scrawny. Am I funny looking to the eye? That blonde girl said I look like a skeleton, was it funny? Chris would often call me skinny, laugh, and then proceed to rape and cut me. I was funny-looking? 

"And he was about a few years younger than me, and he starts yelling at me, saying I have to break up with Hannah, mind you- I'm her fucking mate, and I just lost it!" Garret laughed. 

Hannah frowned, despite the amusement in her eyes, "he threatened to punch him! He was half the size of Garret!" Hannah defended. 

Derek laughed again, "I would've said the same thing! Why would he even say that to begin with?" he asked Garret. 

"This doofus was angry that I was her mate because apparently he was like her friend through middle school and high school and he had a crush on her," he rolled his 

eyes. 

Derek laughed again, "that's-" he laughed, "so, did he leave?" 

"No, this guy kept pestering me, lil' piece of paper he was!" Garret and Derek both chortled at the comparison. 

"Garry was so close to hitting him! I just convinced Garry to leave him alone," Hannah sighed. 

Derek laughed, "which pack were you guys at? Were you still in this territory?" 

Garret nodded, taking a sip of his drink, "yeah, you know we don't really have warrior packs, he was just a skinny, fit-ish guy, that's not the point though. He was human, we were seeing her family and they usually go into town. Remember I told you that?" he shrugged. 

They continued their conversation, often making jokes and laughing and they soon finished their meal and the chefs came to take the dishes. I saw Derek glance at my plate before and gave me a look at the fact that I didn't finish. 

We migrated to the living room, and they continued their chatter, and Hannah would talk to me. I felt awkward so I was grateful that she talked to me, and I liked her presence, she didn't make me feel bad. 

"So, what are you wearing to the ceremony?" she asked me as Derek and Garret had their conversation. 

"Oh, I, um, I haven't really thought of i-it..." I mumbled shrugging. 

Her eyes widened, "Oh! We have to go plan!" she eagerly told me, "let's go to your room, yeah?" she asked. 

I nodded and she smiled and got up. "Garry, Vi and I are gonna go up to her room, call m-" 

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," he smiled at her, "don't traumatize her too much," he joked and Hannah scoffed. 

"Please, I'm fabulous," she said and grabbed my hand to walk away. 

"Hannah, you kicked Garret and me out of your house when we ate a Rangoon," Derek chimed in. 

"After you hit us with the pot-stirrer, we literally had one!" Garret said. 

"Hyeongsa," Hannah spoke, something I didn't understand, rolled her eyes, and walked away from them with me, ascending the stairs. 

She stopped at the top and thought for a moment. 

"I don't remember where your room is," she told me, sheepishly looking over at me. 

"Remember?" I asked and led her to my room. 

"Yeah, Derek had Garret and I come over and get some clothes for you because he didn't want to leave you," she shrugged it off. 

"Oh," I mumbled and opened the door to my room. We walked in and I sat on the bed. 

"Which one is the closet again?" she asked me. 

I pointed to my closet door and she nodded and opened it. 

"What did you s-say to Garret?" I couldn't help my curiosity, despite always being beaten for it. 

"Huh?" she asked as she turned to look at me, "oh, it was Korean, It means 'dick"," she informed me. 

"You k-know Korean?" I asked, eyes wide. 

She nodded and went back to looking in the closet, "Yeah, my Dad taught me it- he's Korean. My mother is Chinese, she taught me to cook." 

"Wow," I whispered and I heard her chuckle. 

"Vi," she whined and my heart rate picked up. 

"Yes?" I whispered slightly alarmed. 

She turned around and looked at me, "oh, don't panic, I'm just complaining because you have no dresses!" she assured, huffing. 

"Oh," I nodded, "I- I'll probably just wear s-something like this," I told her. 

She gasped, "Vi! No! You're so beautiful, you need to wear a dress, it'd be adorable- in fact, I have one in mind!" she gushed as she came to the bed and sat by me. 

"It never fit me, I don't know why I still keep it. Garry's grandma gave it to me as a gift for meeting each other- but she had sight problems so she got the sizes wrong," she explained. 

"Oh," I nodded along, "but I-I don't want to take-" 

"No, no, no, you won't be taking, you'll be doing me a favor! I don't need it, really. I would love it if you have- you will look amazing in it! I can already see it!" she beamed and clapped her hands in excitement. 

The sudden sound made me flinch, but I tried to play it off. It didn't go so well. 

"I'm sorry Vi, I just got excited, I'm sorry," she said. 

I dismissively shook my head, "it's fine," I whispered, my face heating up. 

"Well, anyway, you should come over tomorrow, I'll tell Garry or Derek, I'm sure he'll take you over!" she told me, "and I'll be home all day, so come over whenever!" she nodded eagerly. 

I chuckled lightly and agreed. "If that wants whats-" I paused, focusing on my sentence, "If that's what you want," I spoke carefully. 

She smiled, "Aw, thank you so much, Vi! I can't wait! So, I'll show you what I'm wearing tomorrow when you come over, and-oh! We could have a totally 'girls day'- if you're comfortable with that of course!" she gushed. 

I couldn't help but smile at her. She was so genuine. How? How could she be so nice to someone like me? I didn't understand it. 

She smiled at me and made me smile back. She laughed and made me laugh. She invited me to her house when she didn't even know me. Would I still be welcomed if she knew everything? Part of me thought- yes, she was authentic. 

I was about to ask her something when a deep voice shouted for her. The unexpected volume made me wince and Hannah reached out and put her hand over mine, giving a comforting smile. 

"It's just Garry, come on," she explains and stands up, taking me with her. "Could've mindlinked me, but," she shrugged. 

We walked down together, as she told me she couldn't wait for tomorrow. We met Garret and Derek in the living room by the door, talking amongst themselves. Garret looked over to Hannah and automatically smiled. He reached out for her hand and she gave it immediately, kissing his cheek. 

"Hey, so Derek, is it okay if Vi can come over tomorrow?" Hannah asked, smiling at Derek. 

I felt him look over at me and I looked down at my hands. 

"Yeah, sure, about what time?" Derek asked, moving his eyes back to Hannah and Garret. 

"Um," Hannah looked over to me and shrugged, "whenever? I know Garret and you'll be working on that so I'll just be home." 

"Okay, that's fine by me," Derek nodded and they said their goodbyes for the night and left. 

Derek turned to me, "nice aren't they?" 

I nodded and stayed silent, not looking at him. 

"And, you don't need my permission to go somewhere, just tell me before so I'll know where you are," I nodded in silence again, he sighed and turned, leaving me. I let out a breath and walked upstairs, going straight to my room. I took a shower and got dressed for bed, brushing my hair and teeth, and washing my face as best as I 

could without my reflection to go off. 

A mirror would be nice. So would a razor, not to cut myself (I think Derek would do a lot more than choke me if I did) but so I could shave. They took care of me in the coma as best as they could, but now I was out and needed to care for myself. As best as I could. 

I guess I should ask Derek, right? He is the Alpha... 

I let out a breath and walked out of my room, down to check his office. I knocked, no answer. I went down to where his room was and tapped. 

There was shuffling on the other side and soon Derek opened the door. My eyes couldn't help but trail his body. He was dressed in some sweatpants and his muscular chest was bare. My eyes met his gleaming blue ones. 

"Done checking me out?" he smirked and my cheeks heated. 

"I- um, I- I wasn't-" I rushed out only to get a chuckle from him. 

"I'm kidding Flower, you can look all you want," he teased, leaning against the door frame, crossing his arms, "are you okay? Do you need something?" he asked, concern taking his tone. 

Nervousness took over me, what if he flipped? "I- um... I want to a-ask you s-something," I whispered, my hands fidgeting. I stayed silent, waiting for his permission to 

continue. 

He waited for me to finish but once he saw what I was intending, he spoke, "go ahead, honey." 

How was I supposed to word it? "I..." should I just go for it? "C-could a mirror be placed back in the room? A-and a razor so-so..." I drifted, feeling too stressed to finish. I glanced at Derek and saw him clenching his jaw, eyes focusing on me. 

He thought for a moment before he spoke, "you can use my mirror with supervision," he declared, nodding like he just solved a hard trigonometry problem. 

"S-supervision?" I asked. I wasn't a child. I didn't need or want supervision. And he didn't answer the razor question. 

He hummed in response, "and for the razor question," he gritted out irritated and I felt my heart rate pick up, "you can have a nurse do that stuff for you. Since you're 

not too close with me," he muttered the last part, probably hoping I wouldn't hear it. 

...Um... no?... 

I furrowed my brows, my wolf supporting my confidence to stand up to him. I didn't need a nurse to help me shave, I wasn't disabled. 

"N-no," I defended. 

He raised an eyebrow and straightened his stance. "No?" 

"N-no, that's ridicul-" I started but was cut off by his scoff. 

"Ridiculous?" he humorlessly chuckled, "last time you were left alone with them you attempted to kill yourself- oh wait, I'm sorry. You were punishing yourself, and failing a suicide attempt," he smarted off. I felt my heart throb despite myself. 

No. 

"I didn't fail s-suicide with a razor blade, it was a k-knife. Maybe I s-should've used a razor- it c-could've work-" I didn't get to finish that sentence. 

Derek reached out and grabbed me, dragging me into his room and the door slammed shut. The moment it was closed he pushed me against it, wrapping his hand around my throat, but not putting pressure on it. 

I grunted and jerked my body to get away from him but his growl stopped me. He dipped his head down into my neck and slightly nipped at my ear, heat flooded my body. He moved up to my ear and whispered in it. 

"Mate, you don't want to finish that sentence," he threatened but once he called me 'mate', I couldn't focus. It wasn't the term because Chris always called me 'matey', it was the way he said it. My trauma smashed down on me. He knew what he was doing, he's done it before. 

N-no, get off!" I shouted, heaving. I thrashed against his chest, tears blurring my vision. He didn't let up, and I tried to go under his arm but his hand on my throat caught 

me. 

"Stay," he warned and trapped me. I gave up and stood still, heaving, and internally panicking. "Good girl." 

I calmed for a second, that term meaning I did something well, and then struggled once more, tears falling. 

I hate him! I do! 

My wolf whined and it stung but I pushed on. 

"Stop it, Violet," he put more pressure on me, my back digging into the wall. I grunted in pain and pressed my body against his to move him. 

"Get off!" I shouted at him. 

He growled and slightly relieved the pressure off my body. I looked up at him and glared with my teary brown eyes. 

"I won't hurt you," I spat his words back at him. 

He sucked in a breath and straightened his posture, removing the hand from my throat. 

"Viol-" 

"No! This is what I-I mean!" I shouted at him, my voice wavering, a sob building up in my throat. "I-I c-can't do this! I've told you a-and you're not listening to me! I'm done," I croaked. 

I turned to open the door, leaving him. It cracked before his arm reached out, halting the movement. 

"Violet, I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm not letting you go, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," he spoke lowly, riding his arm from the door. 

The moment he let go, I swung it open and practically ran down the hallway. 

Once I got into my room I tightly shut the door and crawled into bed. I pulled out the inhaler from the nightstand and put it on top, in case I couldn't calm down. I wiped my wet cheeks and thought back. 

Why was he so bipolar? He contradicts everything he says. 

I won't hurt you. Chokes me when he gets frustrated with what I say.