The Alpha - Arianna Green (FULL 50 Chapter)

I had a dream of Chris that night. It was vivid and I had to question if it was a dream. But, I knew it was. I was with Benlyam. I was fine. 

When I woke up, it was the morning and my cheeks were wet. I only cried. I even asked Benlyam at breakfast if I woke him up anytime last night. He said 'no'. That was good, right? 

I didn't want to be without Benlyam so I stayed with him throughout the day, helping him with his papers. He seemed happy that I wanted to be near him. 

The next day, I was in my room, brushing my teeth when I found another note. It was right under my razor. In it was a photo of myself in my shower. Due to the glass cover and the low temperature, you could easily see me washing my hair. 

On the back, the note read: 

'Dear Matey, 

Tsk, tsk! Bad girl! Keeping secrets from Derek? That's alright, it'll be an even bigger surprise for him! Should I even call him Derek? Is it too soon for Benlyam? It's cute to see him panicking, but I'll get you babykins. You're mine and that mark on your neck won't stop me. I hate that I keep running out of space. C.U.I.2. 

-Alpha' 

After another note and another breakdown, I still didn't tell Benlyam. I was on alert and Sage was pissed. How did he take it? I was in the shower! If he was here I 

would've seen him. 

It made me paranoid. I was scared to even talk about it, so I didn't. 

I stuffed the photo back in the envelope and put it with the other. 

New plan, permanently sleep in Benlyam's bed. It didn't sound like too hard of a plan, he seemed to be letting me decide where we would sleep, trying to let me be in charge so I'd be more comfortable. 

I'd still use my room for showers and dressing, but other than that- forget it, I couldn't. Benlyam soothed me. He felt I was on the look-out when I was with him and he figured it was because of Chris. 

Except he didn't know about the letters. He thought I was stressed because the majority of his work was centered around him. 

If only he knew... but I would never tell him. I feel like if I told him now he'd probably get frustrated with me. I already had two letters and if he read them, he'd question 'what secrets' then, I'd be forced to say I have razors and that I've been using them. After he specifically said no. It'd all spiral out of control from there. 

I wasn't ready for all that. 

Some council members were coming tomorrow to get an update on the situation and to meet me. The King included. 

I wasn't ready for that either. 

Benlyam tried his best to calm me down but I was still a mess. Inside and out. 

Sage was becoming needier and needier. She wanted physical contact with Benlyam. Shamefully- I kinda did too. But she wanted the bond completed, I don't think I'm ready for that. 

"Flower?" Benlyam broke me out of my thoughts. I looked up at him confused. He blinked at me, waiting for an answer to a question I didn't hear. 

"S-sorry, what?" 

"I was asking if you wanted to go to Socorro tomorrow before we met with the King? I don't know if it'd be easier for you or whatnot," he repeated. 

"Oh," I didn't know if it'd help or not and I didn't want to be more of a bother, "I'm good," I told him. 

He studied my face. He sighed out. "Whatever you say, honey," he breathed out and turned back to the television. 

My heart rate picked up, anxiety growing. Was that an attitude? I didn't mean to upset him, I'll go if he wants me to. I just didn't want to make a bigger deal out of this mess. I already felt like this was being blown way out of proportion. 

A part of me felt like a problem, a burden, and I didn't want to bother anyone more than I have. 

"I'll g-go if you want," I quickly told him. 

He took a deep breath through his nose. "Honey," he strained, "I don't want you to do it for me, I want you to do it for yourself," I looked down at my legs. I couldn't keep his gaze while he was laying into me. His hand reached out and grabbed my chin, I winced at the unsuspected movement. I didn't like where this was going. "Violet, look at me when I'm talking to you," he breathed out. He was controlling himself. But he was slipping, I felt his level shifting. 

I don't know why, Sage was baffled, but I became immensely alarmed. Possibly because my tormentor was a lot closer to us then they knew or because he was getting pissed and grabbed me despite not being forcibly physical with me since before the ceremony. 

A small grunt left my lips as I jerked my head back to get rid of his grip, that didn't alter him. 

"Violet," he warned and grabbed the back of my head. 

"Let g-go!" I gasped and pushed my hands against his chest. 

"Violet, stop!" he growled in my face and I looked up at him. His eyes were becoming dangerously darker. My heart was beating too fast. I pushed his chest again and he tightened his grip. "Goddammit! Listen to me when I'm talking to you! I asked you a simple question, I just need you to tell me what you want to do!" 

My throat constricted at his tone, a headache forming. 

I pushed at him again, "Get off!" I grunted. 

"Violet! Stop fucking moving!" he raised his voice. I flinched and pushed again, like a toddler. 

"Derek, s-stop!" I spoke out, my eyes leaving his. My heart was beating so fast. 

It got quiet. My hands were still pushing against his chest and his were still on my face and head. I glanced up at him and he looked beyond pissed. His eyes were closed and he was kissing his teeth. 

He let go of my jaw and head. I didn't realize how much he was holding me up because the moment he let go I almost fell back on the sofa. I let go of him and scooted 

away. 

He got up and he shook his head, "I'm not doing this right now," he told me, utterly annoyed. I wanted to cry. He walked away, probably going to his office. 

I sat up straighter and sniffled, keeping my tears. My throat started to burn. I heard a door slam and I winced, pressing my lips together. 

I hate myself. 

Always. I always had to mess up a situation. I sniffled again and covered my mouth with my hand. I won't cry, I won't cry. I squeezed my eyes shut to keep them in. 

It hurt. 

We were doing fine. Watching another movie because he needed a break. He was getting so frustrated with his work and Chris, and I had to ruin things again. I could've said 'Yes' from the beginning like a good girl but I had to say what I felt. 

I opened my eyes and tried to blink away my tears as I rested my elbows on my knees. I was biting my lip so hard, it'd probably break. Trickles of salty water started coming down and meeting my hands on my cheeks and my heart twisted. 

I hated this. 

I was dumb for thinking Derek was the reason I tried to kill myself. It was me. Everyone was right. I should've ignored Sage, Selene, and Derek. They just felt bad. I was the problem. 

...Chris was right all those times. I deserved every blow... 

('Violet, everything is fine. You're better than this.') 

I breathed out and wiped my cheek. My wrists throbbed. They wanted their release, but I was too crumbled to fix it. 

('Just watch the movie. It's okay.') 

Sage's words didn't help. I ran a hand through my hair and leaned back. 

...I should just hand myself over to Chris... 

Sage barked at me, appalled at that idea. 

But I'd be doing everyone a favor. Maybe he'd kill me. Hopefully. Derek could finally get rid of me, and he wouldn't have to feel bad because I did it all by myself. He could be with women who'd let him fuck them. He wouldn't have to wait around and simp for pussy. 

They are probably on speed dial for him... 

Selene would be happy because then I wouldn't die from Derek or myself. 

A full-proof plan. 

...Looks like I would be sleeping in my bed tonight... 

('Violet, stop this! Don't think this way, we are done with negative thoughts!') 

I didn't know how long I sat there but my tears dried and my breathing was normal but I was still staring at the television screen. 'Are you still watching?' I was just staring at the words. They were surrounded by a nice black void. How I envied them... 

The doorbell echoing broke me out of my trance. I looked over. The windows showed the night sky. I've been down here long. 

I got up to answer the door, although truthfully it would be smarter to let Derek answer it because Chris was here. Or close. 

But I still walked over to the door. 

I heard footsteps descending the stairs as I opened the door. I hated myself. Despised. Loathed. In front of me, all dolled up, was Lindsay, that blonde woman. I pressed my lips together and as much as Sage screamed at me, I opened the door wider, inviting her in. 

She beamed a snarky, fake smile at me and I could only look blankly at her. She glanced behind me, but I didn't care. She could have Derek all she wanted, I'll leave. I 

couldn't care less. 

I turned around, ready to go upstairs, just to figure out where Chris was and willingly hand myself over. 

I almost bumped straight into a wall. A wall named Derek. I stuttered out a small 'sorry' and went to step around him but he grabbed my shoulder to stop me. I glared up at him. He glanced down at me, he looked slightly taken aback at my look but quickly composed himself. 

He turned to Lindsay. "Why are you here?" he demanded, his voice cold. 

I heard her fake giggle, "Why? Derek," she laughed, "you know why I'm here!" 

I felt myself simmer in jealousy. 

"No. I've told you once, I'll tell you again. Leave, there isn't anything between us," he flatly said. 

"Rick!" I hated that. I felt myself frown. Rick? She had a nickname for him? Sage was growling at that. She felt we should be the only one to give him a nickname. "Come on baby, you still aren't doing that? Are you?" she sounded pissed at the thought of us, which made my eyes water. 

'Fucking crybaby... 

I went to walk away but Derek tightened his grip. 

"That is your Luna. Do I need to throw you in the dungeons for you to learn your place? I thought you would've learned it last encounter we had." I felt the anger in him. "Leave my house." 

She sighed and stomped her foot. He raised his eyebrow. She scoffed and turned, slamming the door. 

It was tense, I wanted to leave but he was keeping there. 

"Flower," he called out. I frowned. I liked it a lot when he called me that. I liked being his flower. "Look at me," he demanded softly. 

I sighed and brought my teary eyes to him. He frowned at me. He brought his thumb up to wipe away my tears. 

...I always had to cry... 

"Stop," he whispered to me. "Don't be so harsh on yourself." He went to kiss my forehead like he always did when I was crying, but I moved, rejecting him. He was quiet, sighing. "Come on honey, let's go eat dinner." He went to walk away, still holding me but I jerked against him. 

"No, Rick," I spit back. He turned back at me. He didn't like that. At all. 

"Honey, please? Let's just go have dinner, we can talk this out," he pleaded. 

I didn't want to be his honey now. 

"No, Rick. I don't want to have dinner," I sassed. I felt a little proud of myself, I didn't stutter! 

"Don't call me that," he told me. He looked irritated, but Lindsay could call him that? It was stupid in the first place! 

"Why can't I call you 'Rick'?" I asked, my voice coming out shaky. Please don't stutter... 

I tugged my hand out of his and folded my arms. 

He sighed and walked closer to me, I took a step back. He smirked and raised an eyebrow, accepting a challenge that didn't exist. I frowned and took a step back, he took one forward. He did it until my back hit the door. 

"I don't like 'Rick', honey. You know what I like," he smirked down at me. He put his hand by my shoulder and leaned in. 

I frowned. "You like blondes that s-spread their legs for you!" My stutter slipped out and I felt my face heat up. Maybe I should've stayed away from the 's' sound? 

"No, I like you, Flower. We both know that." He tried to wrap his other arm around my back to pull me to him, but I shoved my shoulder into him. 

"Then w-why was she here?" I asked, my voice cracking. 

He sighed, "Violet." 

"You're n-not answering the question!" I pointed out and tried to walk away but he took it as a moment to grab me and wrap his arms around my waist. 

"Honey, I don't want her. I want you," he reminded me and I frowned as I looked up to him. He dipped, pulling his arms further down, right under my butt and he pulled me up to him. 

I instinctively unfolded my hands and wrapped around his neck as my legs held on to his waist. I glared at him and he smiled. I felt lust simmer in him and a small part of me got alarmed, but Sage and the bond got excited. 

"Dere-" 

"Flower, don't call me that," he frowned at me, but there was amusement in his eyes. Like he knew that I knew better. 

"Rick?" I tested and he started walking to the sofa. 

He let out a small growl. I didn't like him growling at me, but the bond was slowly taking over and it didn't mind. He sat down with me straddling his lap. I felt a bulge. 

He pulled my face to him and kissed my forehead, trailing down till he met my lips. He eagerly took them and grabbed the back of my head lightly to deepen it. 

I responded and I felt him smile against my lips. My hands found his hair and snuggled in it, deepening our kiss. He stuck his tongue in my mouth and it felt like pure heaven. His hands slipped up my shirt and rubbed my back. I moaned and subconsciously started to grind into him. 

Benlyam pulled out and trailed to my mark, sucking on it while he let me grind on him. He groaned against me. "Flower," he warned and grabbed my hips. I was so heated. I was loving the pressure I was putting on his member, it warmed me up. 

"Bee," I moaned against his neck as I planted kisses. 

"Fuck Flower," he groaned. I slightly flinched but continued leaving marks on his neck. "Sorry," he whispered in my ear and then grabbed my hips and pushed down on his bulge, grinding me. 

I moan against his neck. He lightly grabbed my hair and pulled my head back while his other hand cupped my area. I looked at him, my eyes pleading as I made a motion to get some pleasure. Benlyam smirked and squeezed me. 

A moan squeaked out of me. He unbuttoned my jeans and slid his hands over my underwear. My mouth parted when he came in contact with my area. He started to lightly rub small circles over my panties. 

"Bee," I whispered as my hands fisted his shirt, "please..." 

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to my lips as his fingers slid my underwear to the side and slowly inserted a finger. I moaned against his lips as he quickened his pace. 

He entered another finger and started to build up a sensation in me. My head pulled back from his kiss and I started to move against his hands. 

A moan left my lips, but Benlyam quickly kissed me to silence it. 

"Shh Flower, do you want the chefs to hear?" he teased as I came closer and closer. "I don't have a problem, so if you want them to hear, by all means..." he smirked 

and gave a quick peck to my lip. 

He moved his fingers, hitting a spot and I bit my lips as my eyes rolled back. I peaked my climax and mumbled his nickname as my head slipped into his shoulders. I felt him chuckle as he slipped his fingers out and put them to his mouth. 

"You're becoming my favorite flavor, Flower," he smiled and put them in his mouth. I gave a small kiss to his neck as he zipped up my jeans. 

I put my hand over his pants, giving him the idea of a blowjob. He picked up on it and immediately grabbed my hand, removing it. I scrunched my eyebrows at him, confused as to why he was denying it. 

"No, Flower," he kissed my hand. "Come on, let's go eat."