The Alpha - Arianna Green (FULL 50 Chapter)

 

I didn't want to cry, but the guilt was dragging me down. A headache was banging in my head. I hate that we argued, I always do. 

My throat constricted as I felt a panic attack near. 

...Alright calm down, Violet, you've been doing good... 

('It's okay, just focus on breathing.') 

I squeezed my eyes shut as I timed my breathing. My hands held my temples to try and silence the headache. It was quiet for a few moments and then I opened my eyes. I let out a breath. 

...I did it!... 

A sad frown formed on my face. I wanted to go hug Benlyam and cry in his arms. I made my sad way into the bathroom and saw my mascara tears down my cheeks. I sniffled and started to clean my face. 

'You killed his baby.' 

A sob left my lips and I pressed a hand over my mouth. 

...No, I didn't!... 

Silence again. I viciously wiped my tears as I started to get dressed and crawled into bed. I felt exhaustion take over me as soon as I laid down. I sighed as I closed my wet eyes, my back was killing me. I soon fell asleep. 

When I woke up, Benlyam was in bed beside me. I had to blink a few times because of how lit up the room was, but I preferred it that way and I was thankful that he respected that. 

I felt wide awake. 

...Loving the pregnancy... 

I glanced at the clock that read one twelve in the morning. I sighed and my eyes caught sight of our triplets picture. Tears immediately formed in my eyes as I started to silently cry. I didn't want to wake up Benlyam. 

My hand floated down under my nightshirt to hold my stomach. 

...I'm so sorry, sweet ones. I promise to give you the best life, I'll always love you... 

My other hand wiped my tears. It wasn't my fault. The King told me himself, there wasn't anything I could do, Benlyam and Reseda even said I was sterile! It wasn't my 

fault. 

I didn't want to have a funeral. I couldn't even imagine how tiny the casket would be, Benlyam and I still needed to talk about it. I didn't want to, but it was something we had to do. 

I hated how we fought. We haven't had a problem since last month, last month was pretty bad. I didn't talk to him for three days. 

It all started when we were about to have a meeting, we were talking to Garret and Hannah and he said something that I didn't like. I told him that and he got snippy with me because he was already in a pissy mood, to begin with. 

All through the meeting he just kept pushing it and when we got home, we tried to talk about it but we just yelled at each other, and then I cried myself to sleep. 

I hated it when he called me 'Viv', it was a sure sign an argument was around the corner. It was always 'Huh, Viv' and 'Okay, Viv', and I couldn't stand them. He knew that too, but I also called him Derek when I was pissed at him, and he didn't like it when I called him that. 

If I wanted to push it, 'Rick' was a great option. He'd just walk away because he wouldn't want to yell at me. The easy way out. 

I took a deep breath to calm down as my hands rubbed small circles on my stomach. I wiped a few tears away then I paused. I felt a light little tapping against my hand, a small flicking in me. 

I stopped breathing. 

...They're kicking... 

My mouth fell open in pure joy and I glanced over at my sleeping mate. Forget that... I tapped his shoulder. 

"Bee," I whispered as I tightly tapped my hand against him. It kicked again. "Bee, wake up!" I said a little louder. 

He groaned and turned my way, a crease in his eyebrows while his eyes were still closed. "Violet, it's fine. Go back to bad, honey," he grumbled groggily and I rolled my 

eyes. 

I tapped him again, slightly harder and he sighed as he cracked his eyes open. 

Another kick. 

I had to contain my smile as he eyed my tear streaks. 

"What's wrong, Flower?" he asked, concerned as he opened his eyes. 

"Give me your hand," I held out my hand but he didn't move. 

"Violet-" he started but I widened my eyes at him. 

"Just give!" He sighed and reached out his hand. I slipped it under my shirt and he gave me a puzzled look. 

"Honey, it's like one. What are-" 

I shushed him. 

"Hon-" 

"Shh!" I whispered again. I gave him a look as he gave up and waited, his big hand sprawled out across my bump. 

Тар. 

I beamed as I looked up at Benlyam. He had a smile growing on his face. 

"Did you feel that?" I lightly asked, overjoyed. 

He laughed. A small, soft laugh. He looked back to me, his eyes were glassy and I couldn't help but mirror his expression. 

"It's kicking..." he whispered out. I nodded with the biggest smile and he chuckled. "Fuck," he leaned over and kissed my forehead as he rubbed my stomach. 

I felt something drip on my cheek and I glanced up to see tears leaking from his blue eyes. 

"Aw, Bee. I'm sorry," I frowned as I lifted my free hand to wipe away his tears. He smiled at me and gave me another kiss. 

"You're fine, Flower. I love you so much," he kissed me again as another tap hit against his hand, I felt him smile against my lips. "I'm sorry we fought, I didn't mean for 

the conversation to take that turn." 

He rubbed small circles and I frowned at him. 

"We can talk it out, Lyam. I just don't understand why you keep things from me," I placed my hand on top of his and he frowned. 

"Because I worry how you'll take information," I tilted my head at him, I couldn't help the hurt growing inside of me. "I don't want you to stress or anything, especially when you're carrying our pups." 

"Well, okay, I can understand that. But, I just want you to tell me stuff, I don't want to be in the dark." 

He sighed, biting his lips, "I'm sorry, Violet. I'll start telling you things, for starters, the funeral will be Saturday," he brushed a piece of hair behind my ear. 

That brought my mood down, but we needed to talk about it. I nodded as my chest tightened. 

"I'm sorry," I whispered and Benlyam instantly shook his head. 

"Violet, it's not your fault. I don't want you thinking that it is," he kissed my forehead "this was inevitable in a sense, honey, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it." 

I nodded and he pressed a kiss to my forehead. 

"And C-Chris?" I swallowed, "you didn't tell me a-about him." 

"I've had him since Sunday, again- I didn't tell you because I didn't want to worry you." He rubbed my belly and popped his head on his free hand. "If you really want to know I saw him yesterday and I chopped off his dick," he shrugged and my mouth dropped open as I cringed. 

"And depending how Saturday goes, I might snap off his ball sack and cook it for him. He's already lost five fingers- one for every day he's been here." He said it so easily... No, I'm not saying he didn't deserve it, not at all, I just... He's touched me so tenderly with those hands, I didn't want to believe what he said, but I watched him snap Mallory's neck and he choked me plenty. 

"Lyam..." 

He shook his head, "That's why I took a shower and I don't want to hear it, honey. You forgive too easily." 

"I forgave you," I sassed as I grabbed his hand from my stomach to pull down my shirt. 

He rolled his eyes at me, "not for everything, which is a good thing, Flower. Not everything is forgivable." 

Benlyam pulled me into him and I rested my head on his arms as my eyes automatically shut. He pulled my back into his chest as he pressed a kiss to my mark. I shivered. 

"Anything else we need to talk about?" he asked quietly. 

"Uh," right as I went to go say 'no', I thought of something, "you know I don't like when you call me 'Viv'." 

"I know, Flower. I'm sorry I snapped at you," he kissed my ear, "I love you." 

I hummed, feeling drowsy as his sandalwood scent surrounded me. "I love you too. Good night, Bee." 

He kissed me again, "Night, Flower." 

The next morning was fairly easy. Benlyam and I had breakfast together then had to read over some documents and sign off on transfers and whatnot. It wasn't too interesting, except the babies would kick sometimes. It was a nice distraction. Benlyam and I both appreciated it. 

"Do you have the tracker document for lowa, Central, territorial?" Benlyam asked as I shuffled through the documents. 

"Yes, it needs to be dated and a meeting needs to be scheduled for..." I looked over at the notepad, "the fourth of December." 

He nodded, holding out his hand and I reached over to hand him the document. My shirt sleeve rode up as I reached out and you could see the faint 'C' at the start of the inside of my forearm. 

I swallowed and quickly gave them to him and pulled my hand in my lap to yank down my sleeve so he wouldn't see it, even if it was faint. He glanced at what I did but didn't say anything. 

...I hated his name... 

It easily became my biggest insecurity and I hid it ever since I was released from the hospital. Benlyam got this ointment thing for it so it will go away but it was still in the faint stage. 

I shuffled through the documents some more and Benlyam turned his attention towards me. I ignored it and grabbed the Michigan, Upper Peninsula, territorial document. 

"Do you need this one?" I asked as I showed him it with my other hand. 

"No," but he took it from me anyway and laid it on the desk. I hummed and continued to shuffle. "Violet?" he called out and I looked at his curious, soft gaze. 

"Lyam?" he smirked at me. 

"Can I see your arm?" He sounded slightly amused. He's been doing this for the past four months. 

"No," I simply spoke back to him and he chuckled. 

"Flower, I've already seen it, I don't care." 

"That's nice," I mused but I looked down because I couldn't hold his stare. 

"It should be completely gone in a month. You're beautiful," he added. I waited for him to finish but it seemed he already was. 

...Where was my nickname?... 

I looked up at him with a glare. I raised my eyebrow at him. His smile grew. 

"Yes?" I know he heard me! "Something wrong?" 

I tilted my head to the side, still waiting. He leaned in to kiss me but I turned my head. He chuckled, "Something wrong, honey?" he whispered and I turned back to him 

to kiss him. 

It was short and I was still angry at him. He smiled. 

"Ah, my pregnant, hormonal Flower," he kissed my cheek, "I love you," he gave another kiss as he turned back to the Michigan file. 

"Love you too." 

We scheduled a few more meetings and made some calls before Benlyam decided it was time for a break, so we had lunch, and then went into the baby room. I sat in the rocking chair and Benlyam sat across from me in the other. They both overlooked the window. 

"Did you do your stretches today?" I nodded and he hummed. "Are you thinking about adding pictures in here?" 

"It's a nice idea, but what if something happens to them? Like what if they fall and- and they get hurt?" 

He nodded as he hummed, "okay, we'll keep frames out of the room for now. I love that photo of you downstairs," he winked at me and I tilted my head as a blush started to form. "One of you and Hannah from like, two months ago." 

"Oh," I nodded, "thank you." He hummed as we took in the scenery, rocking softly. "We haven't talked about baby names yet," I added. 

He looked at me with a smile. "What are you thinking about our boy? Oliver? Grayson? Those were my thoughts." 

I nodded, "I'm not a fan of Oliver. I was thinking, Layton?" He smiled and thought for a second. 

"Layton Thomas?" He suggested and I felt like I instantly fell in love. 

"I love it!" I beamed and he smiled at me in complete adoration. "And for the girls?" 

"Lily? Poppy?" he thought out loud then shook his head, "no I don't like those." 

"Brianna?" we both shook our head, "how about Magnolia? We can call her Maggy?" his face dropped and he tried to play it off, but I got concerned. "We don't have to name her that," I offered. 

He shook his head, "No, it's fine. That was just my mother's name," he waved it off but I felt that it bothered him. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, Lyam," I reached over and grabbed his hand, and kissed it. "We can do something else," I reassured. 

"It's fine Flower, how about her middle name, yeah?" He held my hand and comfortably rubbed it. I nodded, "Lana Magnolia?" 

My heart swelled. I smiled at him, agreeing. He pulled me up to my feet and I felt fatigued. 

"I love you, Violet," he kissed my forehead as his hand wrapped around my back and the other on my stomach. 

"I love you, Benlyam," he smiled and pressed his lips against mine. I didn't call him by his full name that often, it was almost always 'Bee' and sometimes 'Lyam' so he 

liked it when I did. 

He deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue in my mouth and I felt myself get heated. I moaned against him and as I trailed one of my hands down him, I learned he was hard. 

I cupped his bulge and he groaned against my lips, pulling away. "Honey..." he murmured, he thought I was teasing him but I wanted to finish what we were doing. 

Although I was tired, it didn't mean he had to suffer... 

I smiled at him and grabbed his hand, walking out of the kid's room and into our bedroom. Once the door was closed, we immediately found each other's lips. He ran his fingers through my hair as we neared the bed. He attempted to take off my shirt but I swatted his hands away. After a few times, he just let me do what I want. 

I kissed down him, removing his shirt so I could kiss his ripped abdomen as my hands fiddled with his belt. He almost popped completely out and I started to stroke him as I left hickeys on his v-line. 

He let out a breath as I ran my tongue up him, maintaining eye contact. 

"Honey..." he groaned as I put my mouth completely on him and started to bob my head. I felt his hand push some strands of hair out of my eyes as I continued. 

We've had sex plenty of times during the pregnancy, especially when I was two months along. We worked past boundaries and mental blocks, we were both grateful for it. I always kept his name out of eyesight for both of us and Benlyam respected me enough to not push it. Last month, we weren't too handsy because we had a few arguments and we were busy. 

"Fuck Flower," Benlyam whispered as I saw his muscles contract, "yeah, Flower, just like that..." with that he spilled his seed in my mouth. 

I pulled up from him and he kissed my forehead, heading to go shower as I laid on my side, my drowsiness finally taking over.