The Alpha - Arianna Green (FULL 50 Chapter)

 

I loved waking up today. I was feeling fan-fucking-tastic. I had a wonderful plan! 

I pulled my arm as carefully as I could out from under Violet's head, trying not to wake her- she stirred. I should've waited until she stilled until I got out of bed, but I was too excited about what I had planned. 

"Bee?" my Flower whispered. One of her hands reached out for mine and I instantly grabbed her slim hand. She turned her head my way and cracked open her honey eyes. "Where are you going?" 

There are a few things I've sugar-coated around Violet, today was the same- I've been doing it for the past week. The only reason Zaxton supported it was because of 

her state and our kids. 

"I have to go see some warriors on the training grounds and do a perimeter check," I brought her hand to my lips as I gave her a small kiss. I usually said the check. I knew she wouldn't want to go because I wouldn't allow her- she was carrying our pups and she got tired quickly. 

She hummed, "what time is it?" 

I glanced at my nightstand by our sonogram, "about eleven." 

Her eyes widened for a second. Recently, the pregnancy has really been taking a toll on her, she has been exhausted the majority of the time- that and this morning's 

events. 

"Oh, s-sorry. You should get going then," she let go of my hand but I grabbed her. I leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her sweet lips. 

I went to pull away but she groaned and her hand went to my cheek to hold me there. I smiled against her lips as she sank her fingers into my hair. I slipped my tongue in her mouth as she moaned against me. 

I pulled away first, I didn't want to go any further and after this morning, I'm sure she didn't want to either. And I knew both of us didn't want to talk about it. We will, just not right now-something I learned was the best tactic with her. 

"Can Hannah come over today?" Fucking hell, I love her so much. Precious. 

"I don't mind, I'll call her. Do you want me to wait till she gets here?" 

She hated being alone, I didn't mind- more time with my Flower. I left her while I ran to go see my new Gamma for ten minutes and when I came back she was nearing a panic attack while she cried her eyes out. 

Violet glanced away for a second, "if you don't m-mind, please?" I kissed her forehead. 

"Of course, honey. I'm going to get in the shower, is that okay?" I ran my thumb over her smooth lips. My Flower blushed and nodded. 

"Yeah, I'm going to get dressed anyway," I helped her sit up as she went to get dressed and I got briefly showered. 

I was beyond excited for what I had planned today. I felt like I couldn't get dressed fast enough, I couldn't wait to go- but first I had a family to care for. 

I helped Violet downstairs and answered the door for Hannah, instructing both of them to eat before I kissed her goodbye. 

I felt like fucking skipping the moment I walked out of my door. 

Now- there are a few things I sugar-coat for Violet, and there are a few things I wait to tell her, and some things I don't ever plan on telling her. 

For example- I don't ever plan on telling her that I don't need her to take notes in my meetings. It was a distraction ever since she came to me- to stop her from 

h 

self-harming. 

I also don't ever plan on telling her she was still not at a healthy weight. This morning after our horror, she said it didn't make sense that our little boy died- because she gained weight. It was true she did. I just don't plan on telling her it wasn't enough. 

It wasn't her fault and I know she blamed herself. She had a load of insecurities and a certain fucker was the main reason. 

'Yeah, and you added, but whatever.') 

I rolled my eyes at Zaxton, he was still deeply shaken at the loss of our pup. That and he was still very pissed at how I treated her. I was raging inside. Word got out quickly because pack members that saw me tilted their heads with a grim expression. Somberly bowing. 

I was beaming. I couldn't wait! 

I waltzed right into my cellars and was bouncing with joy and excitement. 

... And I don't plan on telling Violet I have her tormentor in my cellars anytime soon... 

('Cause that's the right thing to do.') 

... Yes, actually. I'm not going to stress out our pregnant mate... 

The door slid open and sitting against the middle of the wall was my favorite person! I couldn't fucking wait! 

"Good morning!" I cheered and he cracked open his eyes. 

One was completely swollen shut, the other was deeply bruised. The shirt on his chest was torn to shreds from the times I dug my claws in him, the same with his 

pants. 

('Good. I want him to fucking suffer from what he caused.') 

... You and me both... 

I beamed at him and he scoffed. 

"Wow... Such an attitude! And for what?" I teased. I dragged over a chair and grabbed a silver laced whip. I plopped down with the biggest, darkest grin I could have. 

"Not much for talking today? Huh? You've been here for what, four days? It's fine though, you can just listen." 

Silence, just his pathetic breathing. 

"Let me tell you how I've been. As I mentioned, Violet and I have become exceptionally closer these last four months- the pregnancy really brought us together. Did I tell you we're expecting triplets?" 

Silence, he just blinked. I loved it. 

('I want to cut out his eyes for looking at mate!') 

...Not a bad idea... but you know I have a better one... 

"And her birthday was last month. I asked her what she wanted weeks in advance, she didn't want anything. In fact- when I first mentioned her birthday, she had an episode because some sick twisted fuck thought it was splendid to rape a woman from ages twelve to twenty-one." 

I brought the whip down on him, the satisfying crack, and his screams were heaven to my ears. 

"But you want to know something? She did end up asking for something. Wanna know what my mate asked for? Huh?" 

Silence again, only disrupted by the sound of heaven. 

"She asked for her copy of our sonogram. A framed version of our triplets. The first time we saw them." 

I cracked it right across his cheek and he cursed out. His cheek split and he spat out blood. 

"But-wanna know what happened at three twenty-one this morning? Our baby boy was pronounced dead because some fucktard decided to ruin my mate's reproductive system by violating her for twelve innocent years of her life." 

I was expecting silence- but what did I hear? A laugh. He was chuckling. His shoulders shook as his face scrunched up. 

Zaxton was livid. 

"G-good, little slut got what was coming for her..." his dehydrated self choked out. 

My vision went red. Zaxton slipped through me and a growl left my lips that shook the whole room. I saw him shake. 

Then I burst out laughing. Sarcastically dying of laughter. I slapped my knee for some added effect. 

"Oh! You think this is funny?" I laughed out loud, "Fantastic! Really! Makes this so much better!" I got up and threw the whip outside the door and grabbed my weapon of choice for this lovely act. 

A wondrous knife in the shape of a stiff scraper, except the blade, was extremely sharp. It could slice off your wrists just by looking at it. I love it. 

I walked right over to him and grabbed his throat. My claws dug into his neck- not enough to kill him, just draw blood. 

...Like I'd kill him this soon. Ha!... 

"Little slut got what was coming for her? Yeah? You think? I think someone had their small little pecker where it didn't belong." I dug my hand down his chest to his pants. I tore them off with one movement. He wasn't wearing anything underneath. I grinned. 

"What? Are you gonna fuck me? Babykins doesn't hit right anymore? Always knew you were kinda fag-ish!" Even though he tried to act bold, he was shaking and his eyes weren't hiding how scared he was. I smiled wider. 

"I'm gonna love doing this! How about you get a taste of your own medicine, yeah? Wanna know how she felt? I got to get rid of part of the problem- you know?" I gripped my knife harder as I grabbed his jaw and brought his disgusting, beady eyes to meet mine. 

....I hate your fucking guts... 

"This never did you any good, brought a whole lot of pain to my mate." And with that, I brought the knife straight down on his base. 

I watched with a smile as his face scrunched in agony- a scream ripped past his lips and I brought the knife all the way down. 

...Snip snap, should've kept your dick in your pants... 

('Make him pay!') 

"See, I don't think you ever stopped when Violet screamed," I grabbed his cut off dick and shoved it right in his mouth- bloody and everything. 

He started to choke, blood getting on me and I laughed, then stood up. I walked, leaving him to scream and cry and gag. 

...Shouldn't have touched my mate... 

('He will burn in fucking hell!') 

... Yes, he will!... 

Stole not only my Flower's happiness but also her innocence, right to reproduce, and her pup. Our pup. My happiness. 

I walked out of the cellars, my pants and hands were coated in his blood, I think next week I'll feed him his balls- or maybe I should save that. I should've stopped by 

the pack house to wash off but I was already near Garret's house. I knocked on his door and he immediately answered. 

"Derek? What the hell?" I went to walk past him but he didn't move. I glared at him and he rolled his eyes, stepping aside. 

"I'm going to go take a shower," I started to walk to my spare room in his house and he started shouting at me. 

"Don't fucking tract blood on the carpet! It smells and Hannah will beat my ass!" I waved my hand. 

"Yeah, whatever!" 

I showered quickly and got dressed walking out. 

"Hannah at your place?" Garret asked as he grabbed a glass of rum. 

"Yeah," he offered me a glass and I nodded. I don't have alcohol in my house because of my Flower. It made her uncomfortable. Things that make her feel that way I try to steer clear of. 

He handed me the drink as he sighed. "That woman," he shook his head as he took a sip, "she never tells me where she's going. It's irritating as hell." 

"I don't have that problem," I shrugged as I shot the rum. "Violet doesn't like to be left alone. Of course, with expectations." 

"Yeah, I know," he grumbled, "she doesn't like me anymore." Garret refilled his drink and sighed. "I get it though, oh! Hey man, look I heard about this morning-" 

"Yeah, I don't want to talk about it." I shut him down imminently, I felt rage simmer in me. 

"Okay. Well, have you figured out what you'll do?" 

"Violet and I haven't talked about it yet." I cleared my throat. It was hard to talk about if I'm being completely honest. I stayed up for hours after Violet fell asleep just crying about it. It was the guilt of everything. 

"I'm sorry man," he held out his hand and I grabbed it as he pulled me into a hug. He patted my back before we pulled away. "What about the infertility issue?" 

Garret was the first person I told when I got Reseda's reports months ago. He was the only person I told. I'm not sure what led me to tell him when Mallory was still my Beta- but I did. It could've been because he was with his mate for a year already or just because we were good friends and I could confide in him. 

Coincidentally, Mallory then raped her- so... Fucking dick. Should've seen something coming when I didn't tell him. Same thing with that doctor, Rex. I've heard some complaints before that he was a bit touchy with patients, but he was a good doctor. It was my stupidity that I let him near her with her weaker state. 

I shook my head. "We won't be able-" my voice cut off and I cleared my throat. I didn't want to talk about it. I took another sip of my drink. It wouldn't get me drunk, not even tipsy- it was human liquor. 

('Mate will taste it on your lips') 

Fuck. I drank the last of it and refilled the glass with water. 

Yeah, let's not cause another panic attack. 

"Are the other two okay?" I nodded and we talked some more before I decided to go back home to my Flower. 

"I'll see you later. Tell that woman to come home, will you?" he called out as I opened the door. 

"Yeah! I will!" 

"And you're getting your clothes tomorrow! I'm not washing your shit!" 

I chuckled and closed the door, walking to my house. 

Hannah has come over plenty of times and I didn't mind. It put my mind at ease when I had to do business and it wasn't something I wanted Violet to accompany me 

with-but she's been fucking fabulous as Luna. 

...Love her so much... 

One time I came home last month and they were both in our room, which I didn't mind- but they both fell asleep. I felt slightly uncomfortable at the thought of another woman in our bed, even if it was her friend. 

Zaxton said 'shut the hell up, at least she's happy' and I couldn't argue with him. I did however discreetly wash the sheets before we went to bed that night. 

I walked into my living room and saw Violet and Hannah on the sofa watching Parks and Recreations. I smiled. 

I missed her. 

She turned her head my way and beamed. Hannah followed and greeted me. I waved back at her. 

"Garret said to 'tell that woman to get home' so," I shrugged, amused and she laughed. 

She gave a hug to Violet, "Bye, Vi, I'll see you later," 

"Bye!" 

She left and I sat next to my Flower, her scent wrapping around me. Sage and fresh cucumbers. She smelled like a garden in the morning. I loved it. 

"Hey Flower," I leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips and she pulled away with a confused look on her face. 

"Why do you taste like that?" I chuckled at her and her cheeks fumed. 

"Like what?" Please don't freak out... She furrowed her brows because she couldn't identify. Her hand reached out to grab the back of my head to kiss me. I stopped myself from being led to her- I didn't want her to recognize it. 

She looked up at me with big hurt eyes. "Why a-are you refusing?" 

('You brought back her stutter you prick!') 

...I don't want her to freak... 

I swallowed and she leaned back and took a second look at what I was wearing. She furrowed her brows as her thoughts came to me. 

..."Why is he changed? And he showered?"... 

"Where were you?" her hand fell back on her round bump and she glared at me, suspicious. 

"I told you I had to meet some people and do a check," I went to kiss her to distract her but she moved. She went to say something but a chef came out saying dinner was ready. 

She huffed at me and pulled herself up and walked into the kitchen. The first moments of dinner were silent, her mind was working. She didn't believe me and was thinking the worst. I felt distress simmering in her. 

Violet poked at her chicken and I tilted my head at her. 

('Just tell her, stop keeping things from her. She told you that this morning.') 

...I'm not going to stress her out... 

('So you're breaking her trust that we worked for?') 

Violet looked up at me, glaring. 

"Then where did you shower? Huh? You didn't s-shower here!" I hated that her stutter came back because I was keeping this from her. She was getting nervous and 

hurt. 

"I showered at Garrets," I simply said, it irritated her and it irritated me. She angrily frowned at me. 

"You're n-not answering the question!" she narrowed her honey eyes at me. 

('You could just tell her- you know? Save her the heartache, cause she is carrying our pups, just saying...' ) 

"I was dirty. That's why I showered." 

"You could've just came here and done that. Why did you have to go to Garrets? Were you even at G-Garret's?" Violet's voice cracked at the end, she was insinuating I cheated on her. 

I sighed, "I didn't cheat on you Violet- if that's what you're implying. You would know if I did and you know I wouldn't." 

"Well, you're not being direct and you tasted odd and-and," she paused for a second, taking a breath, "why are you lying to me?" 

"I'm not!" Not completely... She frowned at me. Fucking hell. "Do you really want to know what I did, huh, Viv?" 

I felt the hurt and discomfort in her- she hated when I took this tone with her, but I really couldn't control at the moment. 

"Obviously I want to know, s-should've told m-me in the first place," she grumbled as she crossed her arms. A fire was growing in her. 

"Alright, I'll be completely honest with you. For the past week, I haven't been meeting with people and doing checks. I've been going down to a cellar to see him." 

I heard her heartbeat pick up for a second, "who?" 

"Him. That's what I've been doing and I got blood on me today and I didn't want you to see it, so I showered at Garret's," I saw as she dropped her folded arms and her breathing became shallow. "And I didn't want to kiss you today because I was drinking with Garret and I didn't want you to taste it. Anything else?" I popped my elbow 

on the table and she frowned. 

"He's been here for a week and you didn't say anything?" 

I sighed. 

"Why don't you tell me things, Derek? I tell you everything!" 

I raised an eyebrow at her as I felt my levels shift. "Everything? Huh, Viv? Do you? Because you did keep letters from me that fucked up everything we had going on." I didn't like what I was saying to her, I wanted to sugar coat it, but things were too heated. "Yeah, you tell me everything except for the things that matter. So, I guess you do tell me every little thing besides the one that fucked up our relationship, because who cares about that?" 

Her mouth fell open a little bit and I felt the guilt in her. "Fucked up the relationship? You did it first! Ever s-since the beginning! You were so mean to me for no r-reason and I forgave you every time!" she blinked at me and I saw her hands leave her stomach and go under the table to her lap. Alarm bell... 

"And maybe I didn't 'fuck up' this relationship because don't you think if it was s-so perfect, I would've been able to tell you!" she exclaimed, her breathing became 

heavier. 

I widened my eyes, "Yeah, sure, I guess. But don't you think that if your fucking abuser was sending threats, you'd say something?" I asked sarcastically as I saw her arms move- she better not be wringing her wrists, I think I'd lose my shit. 

"Because I could only imagine what would've been different had none of it happen if you said something in the first fucking place. Huh, Viv? Can't you imagine?" I made a mistake then. I raised my hand and waved a circular motion in her direction- I saw her face drop. 

...". It wasn't my fault!"... her thought reached me and I was instantly regretful. 

Her mouth completely dropped open as her eyes became glossy. One arm went up to wrap around her stomach. 

"You can't blame that on me!" She took a quick breath, trying her hardest to calm herself so she could lay into me. "I didn't do anything wrong, I did everything I could for the past four m-months, it's not my fault!" she choked out. 

I felt the pain in my throat and I knew it was hers. 

"Violet..." I didn't mean it like that. I should've been more fucking careful with my words and actions. We just lost a fucking baby and I'm fighting with her. 

"No! It wasn't my fault!" she was violently wiping the tears that were escaping from her beauties. It made me want to die, I never want to make her cry- I never intended for this conversation to go this far. 

I sighed as she went to get up. I jutted my leg out under the table and hooked on the chair leg, halting her movements. She frowned and looked to her side- hiding her 

tears from me. 

"Violet, don't go. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I know it wasn't your fault," I frowned as she shook her head. 

"I'm g-gonna go to bed," she whispered. 

"Finish eating, honey," it wasn't time for a nickname, but I needed something to calm her down. Honey was usually my first choice. 

'Violet' when I'm being utterly serious with her and need her to listen. 'Honey' when I'm pleading with her and don't want to hurt her feelings. 'Flower' at any other time. 

"I'm not hungry," she murmured and wiped her cheek again. She stood up and pushed her way out of the chair- her hand imminently went to her bump. 

I sighed as she walked away. 

"Alright, night! Love you too, Viv!" I muttered as I grabbed my cup and took a gulp of water. 

('Don't fucking call her 'Viv'!') 

"Yeah, love you, night," I heard her grumble lowly as she made her way out to the stairs. I heard our bedroom door slam shut and I sighed as I sank back into my chair. 

... You happy?... 

('No, you were shit at it. Why the hell did you make her cry?') 

...I fucking told you she wasn't ready to know... 

I blocked him off after that. I had a pounding headache like I always did after we argued. We haven't since last month and I hated that we did tonight. 

I hated this morning and I hate it right now. I should've stopped her- it was in no way her fault in regards to this morning. 

I felt guilty. I felt shame. 

It reminded me of my mother. She would love Violet- but she would never be able to meet her because I failed her. 

I failed my mom and now she's dead. I failed Violet countless times. I drove her to suicide, demeaned her constantly and we lost a baby. 

...I failed them. And it was my fault because I couldn't protect them...